"The Party Never Stops"

(I wrote this in 2010 as part of a reflective journal I needed for a school project. I needed to discuss current events, and that was the week that the CBS special aired with Sal and Claude. It sums up everything Sal meant to me)

I was really fortunate to work with a guy named Salvatore Defalco. He turned 54 this year, but he still bartended. My nickname for him was old man! Oh, the stories. He knew every famous person there was to know, blah, blah, blah. It wasn’t until he asked me for some help finding pictures from Studio 54 that an internet search showed so many stories I didn’t know. He was a fashion model, he was on magazine spreads, and he was in the Advocate, a gay periodical, twice. He won a first of its kind lawsuit in Atlanta against a nightclub that fired him for being HIV-positive.

The stories quickly changed from gossip to history. He knew people who rioted during Stonewall. He showed me movies I had never seen. Funny Girl! I grew up being open about my sexuality, but I wasn’t gay until I saw Funny Girl! He taught me about *my* culture, *my* history. And he helped me and many others when we found out our own HIV status, over the years.

When I cried, and got depressed, and withdrew from the world, he put it back into perspective for me. “Stop feeling sorry for yourself. HIV doesn’t kill you anymore. Do you know how many people I lost? You don’t die from this anymore.”

             And you know, that old man was right. I am lucky and I shouldn’t feel sorry for myself. HIV/AIDS is an aspect of gay culture that I never knew about, as seemingly as inevitable for gays as pregnancy is for women, it seems. No one forced my choices upon me and I have to own my situation. Getting HIV destroyed my world, but it also forced me to wake up and change my life. Sal did all of the hard work, before I was even born. It is my turn to be the teacher to a new generation.

            I am a bit jealous that Sal got to be on Geraldo, in the New York Times, the Advocate, and interviewed by CBS. And don’t tell anyone he got botox for the interview. He would kill me.